Remember
by icouldbeemo
Summary: "Minho looked at Thomas, a serious expression on his face, "If I don't see you on the other side," he said in a sappy voice, "Remember that I love you." (WARNING SERIOUS AU OF THE LAST BOOK, CHAR. DEATH, DEPRESSED AUTHOR. BYE)


It should have been just a joke, a simple banter between friends.

Never did Thomas thought it would come true.

It was just a few moments ago, when they escaped to the Flat Trans with the other Immunes. Chancellor Paige was the one who prepared it for them, to escape W.C.K.D., and to start civilization anew in a place where W.C.K.D. would never be able to find them.

Thomas had counted all of them, counting the ones they rescued first before the Gladers and the girls from Group B. All of them were accounted for.

Except for one.

Fear gripped Thomas' chest, as he turned round and round on the spot, straining his neck to catch any signs of _him_. When he found none, he pushed through the crowd, fervently hoping the 'shuckiest shuck-faced shuck' was just klunking him for shits and giggles.

Thomas saw no trace of _him_, and he suddenly felt numb when harsh reality slapped him in his face.

_Minho_ was _gone_. _He_ _didn't make it with him._ His bestfriend was left behind, back with the Cranks and W.C.K.D. and all those who wants the Immunes for their personal reasons.

And it was all because of Thomas' worry for Brenda.

His body became limp, sagging to the ground as he lamented the fact that Minho was gone. Never to show up and give his famed smart-aleck comments. Never to call him 'shuck-face' again. And worst of all, Minho would never return for him.

Thomas screamed himself raw, frustration, sadness and overwhelming hate for himself breaking out of him in the form of big, fat tears that ran down his face.

No one could comfort him.

It was only after a while that Thomas finally calmed himself enough to hide away for the moment, entering the forest and climbing up a tall spruce he found so he could have momentary solace from the rest. Gally had taken command, so the others would be fine without him.

Not that he was willing to be leader again. In fact, he rather be gone right now.

If only he managed to save everyone… Save Alby, Newt and Chuck and Teresa… _Save Minho_.

Thomas shifted, about to go up higher the tree – and contemplated if he should just shucking _jump_ – he heard something crinkle in the back pocket of his dirt-caked jeans. His brows furrowed, not remembering stuffing any paper in his jeans. And the Newt' note was clutched in his hand.

"What the…" He stood up; steadying himself by putting a hand on the trunk he was leaning on and fished out whatever was in his pocket.

It was a note. From who, Thomas had no clue.

He opened it quickly, eyes darting back and forth as it read the lengthy note – or maybe it was more appropriate to call it a letter – silently. He was done in a minute, and for the second time that day, he felt numb once more.

He sat back down on the branching, holding both letters to his chest as tears ran down his face, faster and hotter this time. His shoulders shook with silent sobs, and his eyes blurred because of the tears.

"Hey, Thomas." Thomas nearly jumped, and when he managed to wipe his face clean – as much as he could managed – he looked down and saw Gally there, looking up at him with unreadable eyes.

"You should come join us. We found food." Thomas was tempted to decline, and just sit up there in the tree by himself, but he remembered the newest note in his hands. So he nodded silently, gesturing for the older boy to go ahead without him.

Gally hesitated, before shrugging and giving Thomas his space.

Thomas got up, looking out over the sea of trees, and the setting sun. He nodded to himself, as if making up his mind.

"I'll remember. I'll remember, I promise you." He whispered to himself. "And I should've said the same to you while I had the chance."

_Hey shuck-face,_

_If you're reading this, that means you've got yourself and the others to safety. That's good man. Keep them safe, okay? Or I'll find a way to get you if you don't._

_But if you're reading this, that also means I'm gone. A lame ending for someone like me, huh? All the stuff I've been spouting about getting through this was just a bunch of klunk. Shame on me__,__ then._

_And I know that you're blaming yourself for whatever happened to me. And here's what I have to say:_

_**Stop it.**_

_Whatever happened was my fault and mine alone. Don't go blaming yourself. Please? If you value me, really, __**really**__value me, then please__, s__top it. I may not be there, but I can't stand the idea of you hurting because of me._

_I know I'm a smart-aleck, a rough guy, and an all-around slinthead; but you know that I would never hurt any of you for no reason._

_**I would never hurt you**_**.**

_So please, move on, have a happy life. I'm pretty shucking sure Alby, Chuck and Newt would say the same._

_Oh my god, this is getting depressing. _

_I know, I know, I'm the one that started it; but I have a reason for doing this. And it might be my most 'chicken-wearing-panty' moment in all my life. But still, I have to tell you this even if I'm not there for you anymore._

_Remember that time when we entered that… Mall thingamajiggy? Remember what I said?_

_I know, stupid right?_

_But I've never thought, ever thought I'd be eating my words. You see, I told myself that that was just a joke, after saying those words to you. That it's just us messing around to face this klunking world. When things start to go downhill, you really need a laugh, __ya know__?_

_But I watched you. I watched you do every shucking thing for __our sake__. You did everything to get us out of there, and everyone __that __W.C.K.D. captured for their shucking tests. You put us first before you, you mourned those who died for us, but you didn't stop to curl into a ball and cry like a sissy._

_You mourned them while going forward._

_I liked that about you. You're shucking headstrong, who doesn't follow the klunking rules, but you took risks and got us out of that place._

_I also liked that you're abnormally faithful to your friends. To the point I just wanted to smack you__r__ annoying shuck-face silly._

_But I don't like you anymore. Because before I even realized it, I began to __**love**__ you._

_**I love you. Truly.**_

_I know it's totally inappropriate for two guys to… You know? But I can't help myself. You're everything I admired and wanted. And I'm such a chicken for telling you this way._

_I'm sorry because it's my fault that I'm not there with you, but don't blame yourself, okay? Live for me. For the both of us, please. And know this:_

_**Remember that I love you**_**.**

**I'm trash for writing this. I'm running off to find a Griever or a Crank.**

**I don't even deserve to live.**

**GOODBYE.**

**( / ; _ ;)/ ****(Ignore me, i'm a pointer)**** The cliff**

**P.S: ****this didn't actually happen in the books… Or in the movies. It's just a great big 'what if' that ate at my mind like a Flare as soon as I finished all three books in two days.**

**Yeah, I read that fast.**


End file.
